Slow-ass internet. *yawnz*

Yesterday I wrote:

... I can live off someone's couch or sleep on the floor and all, but without my computer setup + internet, I'm gonna shrivel and dieeeeee. :x *sit on hands and start wilting away from boredom and isolation*

AMENDMENT. I should've been more specific and written:

... without my computer setup + FAST internet, I'm gonna shrivel and dieeeeee.

Currently experiencing slow-ass internet. It totally bites. I'm getting abdominal craps from watching the perpetually spinning wheel and waiting for pages to load. *yawnnnnnnnnnnn* Talk about shriveling... serious shriveling action going on right now in my womb.

Thank goodness at least there's wi-fi. What's that they always say in Chinese? 沒魚，蝦也好。(Literal translation: No fish, shrimp also good.)

Riding with the mover's truck.

Earlier this week, I had to move. Specifically, move my things into storage and live out of my suitcase for about three months or so. I won't go into details here as to why/what/where as I plan on writing a separate post on that later on when everything is settled and finalized (in other words: MEGA DRAMA). Anyhoo, this latest moving experience can be summed up as uhm... interesting?!?

Thru a good friend's referral, I engaged 138 Professional Movers. They are pretty professional and I wouldn't hesitate to hire them again next time. From getting a quotation to obtaining cardboard boxes to store my things into to hauling stuff on the actual day itself, I'm generally pleased with how efficient and painless the whole process went. EFFICIENCY! You know how much I love efficiency. Chop chop! No time wasted! By the way, their website really needs a major facelift. Yo, 138 Professional Movers! You should hire me to redesign your website. Heh.

The interesting part came as the result of unanticipated details which had slipped thru the cracks during the planning phase. The morning the mover guys came (about half a dozen Bangladeshi men) to help me move stuff, I realized that I was without transportation. I was so used to having my own car that this trivial but important detail somehow was forgotten. (I no longer have a car today.) I had to supervise and give personal directions during the move (from one originating address to two separate destinations). Dammnit! HOW!?!?! I ended up getting a ride from these guys and sitting in the truck throughout the moving. D'oh. It was a friggin' hot and humid morning, I was sweating buckets and this huge-ass mover's truck, frankly, wouldn't have been my first choice but for the sake of efficiency, a girl's gotta do what she's gotta do.



That's me sitting inside the moving truck. I had expected to sit at the back with my boxes, but the driver was kind enough to let me sit with him at the front with air-conditioning. God bless him! You can't see it here but underneath my shades, I was actually scowling. Been so stressed with packing and organizing the logistics pertaining to this move that my face totally broke out. See my chin? #*$^@%&!!!!

And because the moving time was scheduled between lunch time, on the way to the destination the mover dudes told me they haven't had lunch yet. So all of us had to detour to Adam Road Hawker Center and they picked up Nasi Padang to go. o_o I wanted to pick up something to eat for myself as well, but decided against it as I had no where to wolf down my food anyway once my stuff had been put into the storage space. No time for food yo. As it was, I had already been eating out of styrofoam plates and using plastic utensils for two weeks prior because I had packed everything away. During the truck ride, I was chitchatting with the driver who told me I must check out the mutton soup at Adam Road. "It's really famous," he told me enthusiastically. Cool... I'll DEFINITELY check it out some time. :9~



I had about 25 or so boxes, like the ones you see above. I even made the bright yellow "FRAGILE: Do no drop" print-outs as the majority of these boxes contain my kitchen appliances and serving wares. Breakables. Coz once everything is settled and I have a more permanent place to live in, I plan on hosting dinner parties again and such. (The last year or so I was on hiatus.) I was glad the whole move went by quickly and without a glitch. And I guess it's not a daily occurrence that I got to sit in a mover's truck, chatting with the driver about Muslim food and life in Bangladesh. :) For pulling off this crazy move that day - all by my wonderful self: MOONBERRY IS A FUCKING SUPERWOMAN EFFICIENT WONDERWOMAN!!! *rawrrr* I'm very proud of myself, but no, I don't think I will want to ever do this again solo.


Via

We'll see how the "living-out-of-suitcase-for-three-months" thingie is gonna pan out. In the last year and a half, I feel like I've been hopping from one place to another, flying in and out of different countries. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that after March 2011, things will be more grounded for me. Here's a really geeky tidbit: I can live off someone's couch or sleep on the floor and all, but without my computer setup + internet, I'm gonna shrivel and dieeeeee. :x *sit on hands and start wilting away from boredom and isolation*

Ah well, maybe after I'm all settled down again, I will have another car. Sigh... I miss my sporty + roomy Element.

Bimbo vs. Bitch

Has anyone read these books before?

Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship

and

Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman's Guide to Winning Her Man's Heart

Well, I guess that first question is directed to the gals. I've had these books on my Wishlist for the longest time ever, but never got a chance to put it into my shopping cart. Anyone wanna buy them for lend to me? }:p



Incidentally not too long ago, I posted a poll on my Twitter about Bimbo vs. Bitch and seeking feedback from the guys. Personally, I can't say for sure which is going to be the leading choice because I am not a guy, of course. And clearly they also mean different things to different people. Here are some really hilarious definitions of these two words I've found online, via various sources:

Bimbo

• "An attractive but empty-headed young woman, esp. one perceived as a willing sex object."
  
• "Female, pretty, stupid, dumb. Usually vain and self-centered."
  
• "A woman who values her sex appeal over her intelligence (if there's any)."
  
• "The bimbo is stereotypically portrayed as a blonde (natural or dyed) with heavy makeup, skimpy clothing, a vapid expression, an annoyingly high giggle, the intellect of a slug, nauseatingly superficial values and goals, and morals that are looser than a chemise."
  
• "A girl who has looks but not much else. Usually quite vain and concentrate on appearances over anything else. Personal characteristics are generally poor, and the only attraction to such a person is purely physical."
  
• "A woman who is too ugly to be a supermodel, too dumb to be an actress and too clueless to be a poisonous snake."
  
• "Girls that use their femininity to get attention and get by in life. They don't use thinking, as it is against their image. They have to be and look simple-minded to truly be a bimbo. And lots of males find that attractive. They like little bitch girls who do not think. They're nicer, they don't cause shit, they just sit their with their girly hairdo and makeup and never say anything important. Just someone a male can fuck, someone who can serve a male, someone who pretty much leaves our society in the condition it's in. And these people have babies and fill our country with dumbness."
  

Wow. Harsh words. NEXT UP!

Bitch

• "A confident, attractive woman that doesn't take anyone's shit."
  
• "A woman who tells everything straight up and bluntly."
  
• "A woman that doesn't give a flying f*ck anymore and that can and will be cruel to men."
  
• "A woman that won't do (what you in your feeble mind) want her to."
  
• "A down right drama queen that makes yours, and everyone's lives around her miserable."
  
• "A control freak that always thinks she is right, and constantly corrects everyone."
  
• "A woman that dominates,controls and destroys a man's finances, mental health, self esteem and any hope for happiness."
  

The best one I found is B.I.T.C.H. = Babe In Total Control of Herself. LMAO!!! I think you can sorta tell which definitions were contributed by women and which were by men. *amused*

So what do y'all think? A difficult choice to make? Gals, if you were a guy, which would you pick? Cast your anonymous vote here:

Online Surveys & Market Research

I'm looking forward to your comments as well because there are indeed pros and cons to either choice. I will explain in another post the reason for me conducting this poll. Bimbo or bitch, through reading my blog I'm pretty sure y'all know already which category I fall in. ;)

Help, my girlfriend found a photo of my ex and me!

Imagine this scenario:

One day out of the blue, your girlfriend/wife/steady partner whom you're in a committed relationship with, happens to stumble upon and finds a memorabilia or two from a past relationship, say... a photo of you and one of your exes, looking all lovey-dovey while on overseas vacation together; or a garter belt/underwear/other intimate items left behind by an ex; or in today's digital age, suggestive text messages and/or emails describing steamy trysts once shared with a former lover. It is irrelevant to explore factors such as how the relationship with this ex/lover ended or who dumped who, because we know that the relationship is already dead and you have moved on (or at least the expectation is such). However, while logically acknowledging that these knick-knacks were products of the past, your present partner naturally regards them as undesirable, emotionally. And for these unwanted items to still be lingering around in some unvisited nook and cranny is unnecessary and insensitive. In three small alphabets: WTF. Perhaps you are 'too busy' and never got around to cleaning up your shit? Perhaps you are a retard and need help in finding the Delete button or the Trash icon? Or perhaps you are blind (gasp!) and cannot see the garbage can?

That's alright. Whatever handicap you've been inflicted with and regardless of the reason why you have not gotten rid of these offensive items, I am here to suggest how to turn this potential ugly war into a golden opportunity with a happy ending. *winkz* We all luuuuuuurv happy endings, don't we?

If you are A SMART GUY:

You will immediately take advantage of this situation to earn brownie points for yourself, instead of a silent treatment and cold shoulder. This is the perfect chance (the golden ticket!) for you to display your affections, in a Grand Gesture, to your girlfriend. You know very well how women are suckers for grand displays of affection *uh huh*. Grand Gestures particularly work well for those of you who are smart BUT normally can't express your feelings or emotions well, or find it extremely awkward to be romantic.

You need to realize something, your girlfriend finding these items is not a mere coincidence. In fact, the Universe is acting as your ally at this time and you are so bloody fortunate to encounter this situation!!! Lady Luck is totally smiling down upon you. Because you have neither the general aptitude, imagination nor creativity to even script such events! That makes this situation super duper for you. Otherwise, under what other circumstances would you have been able to do the following?

1. [for paper media] Tear up the offensive lovey-dovey photo or lovenote into pieces, right in front of your girlfriend. Oh yes, tear that shit up. Followed by tossing the accompanying photo frame right into the garbage can. And loudly declare, "GOOD RIDDANCE! You know you are the only one for me, honey/baby/sweetie/sexy." If you are inclined to do this with even more dramatic flair, bust out a lighter and lit one corner on fire, then together watch the photo/lovenote be engulfed in flames and disintegrate into crumply yucky black carbon debris. Follow with same declaration. (If you were the dumper of this ex, you are also allowed to mutter a silent farewell; if you were the dumpee, you can vocally and genuinely curse at this ex during this time. Use bad words.)

2. [for digital media on computer] Sit your girlfriend on your lap, in front of the computer and aim one finger towards the keyboard. Then press firmly -really firmly- onto the Delete button, slow-motion encouraged, and Bing! Offensive email sucked into the blackhole and gone forever. Hasta la vista, baby! (Make sure this deletion covers all backup copies as well.) May I suggest, alternatively, that you guide your girlfriend's finger with your hands and let her claw dainty finger do the deleting? Ala Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in that classic "Ghost" pottery wheel scene. Now that's hawtt!

Oh, my love
My darling
I've hungered for your touch
A long lonely time~~~

*spin spin spin*
*delete delete delete*

K, moving on.

3. [for digital media on mobile phones] Hand over your mobile phone to girlfriend, with both hands as though you're making an offering to God, and invite her to trash the offensive text messages. She will gladly accept this invitation, so sit back and watch her face while she does this. What you will see is her transformation into a female samurai beheading her enemies with her sharp steely blade. Slash! Trash! Schwing! She looks to be ruthless and shows no mercy, but not really, she's just housekeeping actually. Women are supposed to be domestic creatures, aren't they? How can you avoid being next on her chopping block not fall in love with a woman like her? Ignore the green glow that appears to be emitting out of her retinas, that's just your imagination.

The most important thing to remember is, don't say anything. Not even a word. Don't explain, or justify, or whatever. JUST DO IT. PROVE IT IN ACTIONS. Coz you know, things that are from the past, belong to the past and ought to stay in the past. When it's time to let go, it's time to let go (so just trash all associated mofos and move the fuck on already). By applying any of the above suggestions, smart guys like you will not only successfully get rid of past cobwebs, you will at the same time also appease, reassure, reinforce your commitment to your girlfriend via actions and instill more confidence + stability towards your relationship ALL AT ONCE. Talk about efficiency! How wonderful is that? *cue a choir of angels in the background* She will melt upon witnessing (and participating in) such indisputable display of your devotion towards her and only her. And you know what happens to your relationship when girlfriend is reassured + confidence regained + harmony restored + security reinforced = BLISSSSSSSSSSS. (Remember this formula. Coz bliss is sorta synonymous for lotsa hawtt happy sex.)

Equilibrium is safely tucked into your back pocket again and you both can now kiss, tongue wrestle, grab each other's asses and ride off into the sunset together happily ever after. (Or you can ride each other, whichever you happen to be in the mood for.) How's that for a happy ending eh?

*cue a choir of angels again in the background*

CONVERSELY...

If you are A RETARD:

You probably fall into this category because... What's that? You don't know anything about Grand Gesture? Never heard of it?!?!?! @_@ Dude, you need to crawl back into your diapers and watch how the big boys pull off Grand Gesture. (Scroll back up and read the Smart Guy section again.) Believe me, you will want to know about Grand Gesture. Because in very very simple and basic terms, No Grand Gesture = No Kittycat.

In consideration of your idiocy, towards the situation on hand you most likely display one or a combination of these reactions: Become paranoid. Start breaking out in cold sweat. Stutter. Mumble. Spew out some lame excuses. Conjure some outta-this-world unbelievable story. Act confused. Walk away. Ignore the situation. Ignore girlfriend. Lose your temper. Be defensive. Do not understand English.



Well then, CONGRATULATIONS!!! You have just opened for yourself a can of whoopass and no bomb shelter in the world can protect you from the hailstorm of prison-style interrogation that's going to befall on you. Be prepared to explain what the fuck are such memorabilias still hanging around for and what fucking sentimental value are they supposed to be have, what purpose do they fucking serve, how can you be so fucking insensitive, and so on and so forth. There will be lots of expletives. Mad ugly. And if you have to ask why? It's because you're a gawd dayamn retard! And you've let the golden ticket slip through your hands. Sorry, there's no reward for being a moron, really. And don't even think of holding or caressing her in her sleep or initiating any form of skin contact, because you're gonna get your ass kicked out of the bedroom. May I remind you again:



My only advice for you is: Better luck next time, asshole.

(Oh, if you're not 'too busy' maybe you can find time to go back to Relationship School and take the class "How to Please Women: Grand Gestures 101".)

When shit hits the fan...

The thing is, when shit hits the fan, the only person to blame really is yourself. For being too dumb and not having enough foresight. For making the choices you've made and selling yourself out. For 'compromising' who you are, what your beliefs are, for allowing yourself to be a dependent and for "going with the flow". So make yourself remember what this shit feels like, accept that this lesson is being shoved down your throat, clean up the mess and move on. Yay.

Oh, and please be gawd dayamn smarter next time. There's a price to pay for everything and some things you just can't afford to have.

Today's horoscope:

Your attention is turning from being concerned with the present to thinking more about your future. Nevertheless, you cannot shift gears until you've met your current responsibilities. The down-to-earth Taurus Full Moon still requires you to be practical, even if you want to fantasize about what's next. Don't try to avoid your obligations. Demonstrating your dependability should give you a strong sense of satisfaction before you focus on nurturing your dreams.

My Chinese cannot make it!

Oh man, I hadn't realized how utterly crappy my Chinese is until I had to communicate in formal expressions (particularly in writing) to the folks in China. Not long ago, I had to order some product samples online on behalf of mi padre from a factory in Ningbo, CN and boy, was I retarded!!! My approach was how I'd normally speak in English, translate this into bite-sized small chunks in my head, then bang them out in writing for the Chinese rep. Our conversation over MSN went well and he understood what I was getting at, but I am sure that what I had written was very elementary. You'd think as someone who is very fluent conversationally, I wouldn't have an issue with this. However, I very quickly realized how limited my Chinese vocabulary is and 'new' words the likes of "user login", "expedited shipping", "consideration of product quality" are generally terra incognita. -_-"

The other day I received a necklace which I had ordered online from a CN website and upon closer inspection, I noticed that there was a slight defect in the item. So I fired an email to their customer service department, seeking a resolution to this matter. Just look at my pathetic email below, of specifically how I managed to only squeeze out two short sentences (which took me quite a bit of time to put together, so that the email was concise, to the point and the words flowed together smoothly). And then compare it to the reply I received. Waaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~~~~ Gotta 甘拜下風 that Chinese is indeed not my first language. (Although I did attend a Chinese-as-First-Language Special-Assisted-Plan (SAP) School in high school and managed to score top marks in my Chinese exams back then. *embarrassing*)



Anyhoo, this morning I received an email from one of my close gal pals who is tying the knot in a matter of weeks and she has asked me for the favour of translating her formal thank you note, into Chinese. x__x D'oh. This is again another area that I get tripped at. The last time I did this, I wrote down draft after draft on pencil and paper - with a lot of scratched-outs. And I'd nod to myself after reading each sentence, mumbling "Uh huh. Something like that. Yeah." before redrafting the entire thing all over again from beginning, because I knew that somehow it just didn't sound/read write.

How? Start reading Chinese newspapers again and immerse myself heavily with only Chinese publications to brush up and revive my proficiency? :P

With that, I leave you with this MTV of "Learn Chinese" from Jin.



差佬啊～快D走啊～ hahaha.
(That's Cantonese, btw.)

Fine & Dandy.

Ooohh, there's something really beautiful in these papers from Fine & Dandy. I love the color combinations, it's so retro-chic.







I can't decide which ones are my favourites, they all look so good. I can see some of these patterns on pillow cushions, duvet covers or dinner napkins. ♥

Ah Chiang's Porridge @ Tiong Bahru

You can say that I'm pretty much jook-ed out, yo. I never had sooooo much jook consistently for nearly every meal before. This post, boys and girls, is about jook, aka congee, aka porridge.

I've been congee-ing it for most of the last five days, my stitches are coming off in two more days and I am pretty much OD-ed on congee. I have had the three major versions there are around here: HK/Cantonese style, Teochew "mui" style, and Traditional Charcoal-cooked style. All three are delicious but the one I've been digging the most lately is the latter.

You see, two weeks ago my gf Mong brought me to have congee (aka porridge - damn, how many names can rice cooked in water have!?! Imma stick to calling it congee) at this joint in Tiong Bahru called Ah Chiang's Porridge. The awning boasted traditional cooked-over-charcoal style and when my bowl of Mixed Pork Congee (ground pork, liver, intestines, pork slices) arrived, I was very happy at how flavourful it was. It completely transported me back to when my grandfather and auntie used to bring me to this small hole-in-the-wall place situated inside a tiny alley in Surabaya, to have congee which tasted JUST LIKE the one at Ah Chiang's. This is one nostalgic bowl of congee, I must say. And I don't know if it's me being sentimental or what, but I ended up going there a total of three times in the last two weeks. :9 There's something about eating congee that doesn't make me guilty one bit, no matter how much I'm eating it. It's just rice dissolved in water, I tell myself! Hehehe.



Bowl of wholesome flavourful goodness. The texture of this congee is somewhere in between the HK/Cantonese-style's (silky, almost soup-like) and Teochew "mui"'s (chunky grains).



Ah Chang also serves this Sashimi (Chinese-style) which is ultra yummy. I don't recall every having eaten this before and I am now a convert!



Side-dish of cut up Century Egg, which is good served just as shown... shredded ginger, chopped scallion, julienned red chilli, a dash of white pepper and a splash of light soy sauce.



A plate of Sashimi (Chinese-style) as starter dish, and a bowl of Deep Fried Crulers to accompany the congee.



This is a very busy joint, with a steady stream of customers throughout the day. I forgot to ask what time they close because I'd go back there for supper next time, if they're around that late.



My gf Mong, who warned me the first time she brought me here about how this place has outdoor seating only so be prepared to be sweating buckets while slurping the piping hot porridge.



Me *again*. Yes, yes, I'm OD-ed now. You won't catch me there again anytime soon. Oh, my puffy jaws have gone down a lot, eh? :D

I gotta tell ya, I have mixed feelings about the congee portion served here. On one hand, it's honestly adequate. But on the other hand, after you have the last spoonful it kinda leaves you with this almost-but-not-quite satisfied feeling and you inadvertently start scraping the bottom of the bowl. So you're stuck in between wanting to order another bowl (a bit too big of a second helping though) or just walk away. -___-" All three times I was there, I managed to resist ordering a second bowl although the temptation was very very strong. Good job, MB. *pats self on the back* ;p