Getting on a plane for a long-haul flight next week and there’s a wee bit of conflicted emotions that’s been nagging at me, so I thought I ought to purge it out of my system via writing. Despite biting the bullet and allowing myself the recent shuffle of changes, I do feel slightly displaced… still. Moving on was the hardest part, and now it’s just a matter of rebuilding and settling into a new comfort zone. I know that in time, the unfinished businesses will be wrapped up and everything will be better than good. The last two years have been so very exciting and I’ve gotten to experience many wonderful things that I most likely wouldn’t have had I not been so depressed prior. I think it all really hinges upon a choice to start living the life that I truly desire and all of a sudden, everything becomes a blessing.
In the last several hundred days, I have (in non-chronological-order):
– thrown a rockstar birthday party for myself in New York City.
– walked through the ruins of Angkor Wat and felt a spiritual transformation within me.
– squeezed into a tuktuk with my parents in Bangkok and giggled all the way during the ride.
– sang karaoke with a group of great friends in Singapore who let me lick the screen when Jam Hsiao’s music video came on.
– acquired a scar on my left palm from surgery and ended up getting over another scar, the one inside my heart.
– sported the coolest, most bad-ass purple highlights in my hair.
– partied with celebrities and models in Taipei, and got macked on by a lesbian in a club there.
– pampered myself inside the private villas of Bali.
– gotten a beautiful tan in Playa del Carmen and that would be the last time I worshiped the sun.
– posed with the cherry blossoms at DC with my girlies.
– become totally enamored by my baby nephew who arrived in this world not that long ago, but feels like he’s been part of the family forever.
– roamed the little alleys of Gang Nam district and salivating at all the street food.
– transported my kitty cross-continent and celebrated her post-quarantine release.
– curbed my nervousness and started to drive on the other side of the road; now I do it effortlessly.
– inked my body with Khmer prayers by a master who applied the tattoo freehand.
And this list will continue to grow, just as I have grown to appreciate the various facets of my existence.
So to my friends who are currently going through a rough patch, please hang in there and trust that things will turn around for the better in due time. I know you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel now and that’s alright. No one can tell you when to feel better, there is no timeline to this sort of thing. You just have to go through it— the anger, disappointment, denial, sadness, heartbreak, despair, desperation, bitterness… and then one day after you are done processing all these emotions and exhausted yourself from all the negative energies, the empty vessel that you have turned out to be will begin to channel a different kind of energy. The positive ones!
I believe in the power of positive affirmations, because they are strong daily reminders for me to think positively. I have found affirmations to be very helpful personally.
The above are some of designs I’ve done. I’m making them available as prints. Regardless of what stage in life you are at right now, I hope you find some of these affirmations meaningful to you. :)