I am in Taipei this month; was here last month and back again after briefly going home to clean my apartment and do laundry (j/k). While my trip this time has unexpectedly deviated from its original objective, as one day bleeds into the next, I am freely detaching myself from the general shackles of daily humdrum as I know it in SG. Needed a respite from the restlessness and frustration that I’d been feeling (evidence of double-fisting red wine and champers in above photo), and so far the trip’s working wonders for my soul. More on that later.
But first, the food. Well, some snapshots I took on my flight(s) over on blue boarding pass category for both trips.
Prawn and Citrus Salad, with Honey Mustard Dressing.
Lemon Rosemary-crusted Lamb Loin with Natural Jus, Sauteed Root Vegetables and Polenta.
Camembert, Monterey, Sundried Tomato Cream Cheese, and garnishes.
My appetite has been shit for a few weeks now and I’m not enjoying food as much as I usually do. The lamb loin was good, as was the polenta, but I took a few bites and was done with it. Similarly, on my other flight, I ended up declining most of the food (*gasps* even the champers too!), took obligatory bites of the Scallop Salad and Chicken Rice, then sticking to green tea throughout. The anxiety must’ve been caused by having to be away from homebase for a much longer period than my usual travels, typically a week at most.
Brought a book that was loaned to me, purportedly to banish possible boredom during the month-long stay and also as sleeping aid, since the lender was concerned I may have bouts of restlessness and/or insomnia alone in my hotel room. Started reading it during the flight over and chuckled as I flipped the pages; I’m not the only one who use random objects as a bookmark.
Then I had to put the book away, as it hurt my brains. Plenty of quiet me-time for brooding afterwards.
I think about a certain somebody (or two, maybe three…) in another part of the world. Wondering how the hours are going for them, and what’s making their minds tick. Words sent across screens and time zones are just that. The inconsequential ones tend to stick around longer than necessary, yet none of it is relevant until manifested otherwise.
People who have perhaps let you down may be circling back to make things right or set things straight just when you thought all was lost.
Perhaps, perhaps. In this case, optimism is best left for the fools. (Clearly still jaded.)
I think about the way I blog. I hear myself whining to people, “I hate writinggg~” because I find it to be such a chore and so I procrastinate whenever I can. But I know it’s not writing that I resent, it’s what I write about and the way I write. There was once a time when words spilled onto my screen as my thoughts were being sorted out and clarified. I used to pen down deeper reflections and share personal stories. I enjoy that form of writing and wish to get reacquainted again in that manner.
The joy of writing for me? When I can write freely without censoring myself, and have zero care about who’s reading it.
I recall a conversation with someone who recently started reading this blog and like everyone else, is forming an opinion on how I am as a person without knowing me in real life – figuring me out, you can say. This blog is but a one dimensional portrayal of what I’m actually like in person though. Barely scratches the surface as I don’t write about myself that much, if at all. Btw, the one word summary of that person’s opinion is “enigma”, and that’s after he had conversed with and gotten to know me… somewhat.
“Q: Why do I love thee, O Night?
A: Because you know I will never answer.”
I think about the dreamers. There are two individuals whom I’m recently regarding with great interest. One shares the same birthday as me – a fellow Pisces; this coincidence is oddly fascinating yet utterly meaningless at the same time. The other is a walking textbook definition of an artist who possesses what you’d expect of an artist’s philosophies in life. Three different people, one singular commonality: we are dreamers.
Through sporadic conversations and processing them, I came face to face with what’s really been bothering me: I’ve strayed off track and deviated too far away from my need to dream and create. Need, not want.
Need to work on that. Need to stop sweeping it under the rug. I have known this for a good part of this year, of course – I know myself well; I’ve been waiting for it to pass, just quietly sucking it up while inwardly kicking and bitching.
Now that I’m in Taipei where I can make myself believe I’m going about as a blank slate, I forayed…
Pottery Making at Yingge Historic Ceramic District
Jewelry Making at Kinjo Workshop
So I’ve been wandering around and gravitating towards doing creative stuff which made me feel “at home” again. From getting my hands dirty on the throwing wheel and making a bowl, to filing away a smooth silver surface to produce pretty angular facets on a custom-made ring, to silently walking the corridors of a museum – having fun encounters with art and the surge of inspirations are providing me a much-needed relief from creative drought. WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
Appetite still meh though, I’ll share more food pix but don’t plan on writing about them much.
To be continued…