Tragic Hero

25 Oct 2011

Singapore Top Lifestyle Blogger

“Tragic Hero” is a term used amongst my friends and I to describe the men who have played a very significant role throughout the course of all my serious relationships. Meaning, for one reason or another, I have a consistent history of falling in love with tragic heroes and my friends know what a Tragic Hero magnet I am. Coz it takes one to know one…

Who and what is a Tragic Hero?

  • He is a highly emotional creature. Emotion wins over logic most of the time.
  • He has a sweet, sensitive and tender. He can be extremely loving.
  • He is a wounded animal, a bird with clipped wings and for the most part, highly vulnerable.
  • He is someone to be handled with extreme gentle care.
  • He also has a dark side, a perpetual angst about “fitting in” and being “accepted”.
  • He has a profound and deep-seated insecurity and fear that he may never be “good enough”.
  • He is broody, moody and thinks A LOT. Too much for his own good sometimes.
  • He feels that he’s often dealt an unfair card by life and resents not being “normal”.
  • He loves being showered with attention, yet afraid of success because success can expose weaknesses and force him to deal with his flaws
  • He is terrified of being rejected, therefore he prefers to remain passive.
  • (And then he hates the world wondering why it has overlooked him.)
  • He is a dreamer and idealist.
  • He is often an introvert.
  • He feels misunderstood and that people generally do not “get” him.
  • He is usually “lost” and unsure of what he wants.
  • He is not confident about getting what he wants and often doubts himself.
  • He sabotages his relationships because he is scared to get hurt.
  • He requires a lot of reassurances. Plenty.
  • He has a very gentle soul.

Yes, I always fall in love with Tragic Heroes. Sadly, they are also the ones who have broken my heart into pieces. Now, I’m not gonna pretend to be psychiatrist and don’t have an interest in figuring out why Tragic Heroes are the way they are. Upbringing, influences, backgrounds, etc… whatever. They just arrive in that package. And since the law of attraction states that birds of a feather flock together, I’m constantly drawn to them because I share those same traits. Uh huh, you’re looking at the Tragic Heroine herself (although believe me you, I strive everyday to muffle my inner demons, and consciously try to stay in the path of Light).

I can tell you that what attracts me most to a Tragic Hero is the gift of who they are. All my Tragic Heroes have been gifted with an incredible talent and their inner turmoils + emotional turbulences enabled them to create and become, what I see as, sheer geniuses. Exceptional intellectual-emotional-physical ability, creativity and/or originality that is an alchemy of what they feel and how they perceive things. In a word: dreamer. They are dreamers.

Maybe you can think of it as, they are making up for the inadequacies in other parts of their personalities or lives, by subconsciously channeling it into something else that they can confidently have a unique voice in, something they can dwell in without fear of being judged, a safe harbor in which they can spread their wings and soar. I pick up on the authentic expressions they have chosen to represent themselves and I can emotionally connect immediately.

This makes them a hero in my eyes. I find it a huge turn-on and very very sexy.

The gentle, tender, understanding, sensitive side also makes me go all warm and fuzzy inside. It is difficult for me not to fall in love with a Tragic Hero and get all giddy with joy… wow, here’s someone whom I can finally share my dark thoughts with and guess what, he “gets” it instantly! That mutual understanding and deep connection is oh-so-very special. A bond.

Singapore Top Lifestyle Blogger

…. And then the tragic part comes in.

Self-doubt. Insecurity. Angst. Inability to bridge the gap between ideals and reality. Fear of being denied love and acceptance. Self-esteem issues. Frustration. Not coping well with disappointments. The more you invest yourself emotionally, the more you anticipate the day when this great love will be ripped away from yo5. And then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Ugh.

That’s when the fairy tale usually ends. A tragic ending for both parties which involves curling into fetal position in a dark bedroom with all the shades drawn down and blaming the world for being cruel to you, once again.< Sigh. Tragic Heroes. Love ’em, hate ’em, can’t leave ’em, but can’t live with ’em either. :|


Have you ever confused a dream with a lie?

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